Update 6.2.23- Pandemic Divide LP now available via Stormchasers LTD. Limited to 350 copies on copper vinyl.


Darkness 2:
I'm somewhere out in the darkness now
I don't know how long I've been holding the power button down
And when the world starts up again,
I don't know how I even wanna live
But I can't go back
I see it all turn back
At Target it's like a dream, everyone unmasked
Desperately acting like nothing ever happened
Almost overacting, or am I overreacting?

Still can't sleep
Don't wanna double down on my old dreams
Nothing's changed, not even me, really.

And past the darkness there's just emptiness
Despite all my rage, I am still
More than anything I see the absurdity in everything

And all we try to own
Ups and downs, ups and downs
There's not enough time between storms now to try to calm down.
And where is hope now?

Moments:
I'm made up of these moments that seem so profound
Little things I try to explain but it's impossible for anyone else to understand that this is why I am the way I am
But memory is fictional and I'm constantly rewriting it
to make sense of who I am and why
And the more I lose touch with everyone from my past, the more alone I am and the less chance there is that any of it was real
But what does it matter?
This is who I am now.
Nothing else.

2 Weeks:
There were 2 weeks between when my son got his first shot and Omicron, when I was starting to feel fine

(Out on the water:)

"Jerry":
I don't know if I have a story to tell
As I get old there's not a whole lot of new stuff going on.
"I got up, I went to work, and then I came here."
There's a song, that's a song
But not a song that anyone wants to hear

Writing the same things over and over
Circling back, sometimes closer, sometimes.
Star Crunch and Zebra Cakes
Alone
Mostly
Alone

I don't know if I have story to tell or if I ever did
On the couch, in the basement, worrying about bills
but I'm glad that my son is sleeping well
And I'm afraid that I'm too old to really succeed but not too old to fail.

Worry Days:
"Glory Days" plays in my head as I hang up all the old tote bags
South by Southwest
Poetry Foundation
EQD
Comfort Station
Summer Forum
Synthesis
Bare Knuckle Farm
Whole Foods Lincoln Park

Flags we used to fly
Reaching out before

Way she goes:
It's gonna get worse for everyone, it's only a matter of time.
"But that's the way she goes, sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't. It's the fuckin' way she goes."

(At the beginning, we were watching) Tiger King:
I know we're done but it's not over

Patriot Games:
It's been a few good years to be a piece of shit
Couch commandos playing patriot (games)
Proudly tear off your mask to own the Dems
but you know I don't give a fuck about them either
Sick of fighting for the lesser evil
Sick of standing up for the lesser evil

Pandemic Divide:
By Christmas 2020, the adrenalin had worn off
Since then, I've been drifting farther out,
while everyone else is moving on
They've had enough and I understand, but I can't

So much death, it doesn't seem real
I'm so detached. I can't tell
My head hurts but other than that it's hard to know how to feel
Emptier
Hungover from a year and a half on high alert

The focus shifted
The horror
So much appears normal, but it's all a play
The end is on the way

Seagulls:
At light-dark, I don't know where I am
Almost 40 and even more lost than I was at 20
And have I every really said how I feel without overwhelming guilt?
Guilt rules everything

And everyone's a mess
Broken, broke and hopin' for a little bit of luck
Seagulls circling the dump
But despite what we believe, there is nothing down there for us

Talons' in 2021:
I was an asshole.
23 and singing "A man needs a maid"
Writing "Songs for Babes"

I called my ex a sellout and burned it on a CDR, sent it to Denver
So fucked that I thought it was a love note
So cruel.
I was so cruel
Got sad.
Probably partly to let myself off the hook
Lean into depression again as an excuse.
What if I knew? What if I knew?
But at my worst I believed I was good

Finally facing myself at the bottom
On YouTube, I hear a hero sing about his past
Chord organs come in and I'm 19 again
My first 7"
But then,

Biden Ad in the middle of "Microphones in 2020"
Biden Ad in the middle of "Microphones in 2020"
no escape from this now,
even in my safe spaces,
no escape from this hell

Everything's in free fall and we're playing it cool
Good old American fatalism, rising, rising
"The world's gonna end, so it's ending, it was always gonna end.
I'm doing the best that I can for myself
At the center
Circled by the Sun and stars

Notes:
I used to write songs in notebooks, not I write them in Notes
I guess "that's just the way she goes"

After "After Talons'":
These songs are getting worse but somehow closer to the point
Soon I'll just record myself saying "Oh Shit" with no music,
and be done



(oh shit)